Al Qaeda, the world’s finest terrorist organization leading in terrorism is looking forward to expand globally. Al Qaeda has a large portfolio of services such as kidnapping, murder, rape, bomb blasts, extortions, human bomb suicides, mass destruction and spreading terror.
We are looking for young, dynamic and aggressive individuals with the right blend of experience, qualification and talent for various positions. If you think you qualify for one of these posts, please send us an email at email@example.com with the job code and position in the subject line. Also mention your current and expected CTC.
Job Code – ALQ01
Job Title – CEO (Chief Elimination Officer)
Job Description – As the CEO, you will be responsible to foresee the daily operation of Al Qaeda. Long story short, you will be responsible for directing execution of hostages, eliminating any hostility towards Al Qaeda’s methodology. The candidate needs to have a minimum experience of 20 years in a similar role with terror groups. The candidate will be a figurehead of our organization and would directly report to the Big O.
Job Code – ALQ02
Job Title – CFO (Chief Fraud Officer)
Job Description – As the CFO, you will be responsible for bringing in funds to our organization by the virtue of frauds from big multinational companies. Your primary responsibility will include extortion and infiltration from companies with minimum revenue of $ 1 billion. You will create fake accounts to transfer money to Al Qaeda and use only “Illegal” means to do the transaction.
Job Code – ALQ03
Job Title – CTO (Chief Terrorism Officer)
Job Description – As the CTO, the incumbent would be responsible for the execution of key terrorism activities of our organization. The individual would promote and give interviews to spread the word of terrorism globally. Other activities include but are not limited to new weapon launches, strategic alliances, Merger and Acquisitions with key terrorist groups.
Job Code – ALQ04
Job Title – CIO (Chief Inspirational Officer)
Job Description – The CIO would be responsible for inspiring new candidates to shed their fear and join our organization. Besides brainwashing, you will be responsible for motivating them to move ahead and make a bright career in terrorism.
Job Code – ALQ05
Job Title – CLO (Chief Ladaku Officer)
Job Description – As a CLO, you will be responsible for engaging the new candidates in fights with the government of both developed and developing nations. You will be responsible to take charge, strategize the organization’s plans for conquest, and conquer.
You will be notified about the interview venue, date and time shortly after we receive your resume. Please send us your latest photograph with at least two weapons in hand for consideration. For more information log in to our website – www.istilldonotknowwhythehelliamreadingthis.com
Ps – If this is offensive to anyone, please let me know and I will delete this.
Pss – If this post needs to be deleted please let me know
Psss – I know that I suck at dry humor and political jokes, literally!
pssss – Image courtesy Jeff Dunham, Achmed the dead terrorist.