Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

“Mr. Perfectionist” may have failed his fans who had expectations. Expectations that this will be something new in terms of an overly Aamir movie, a classic, and a pure entertainment. Expectations that like his earlier movies, this would be “Flawless”. Well, people with such “expectations” would be disappointed. I am glad I do not fall in that category.

Though I didn’t find Dhobi Ghat a true “Benchmark” of art films but it was an experiment – an experiment that succeeded. I am a Aamir fan but I have an eye, a taste, and a sense! When I spend my 150 bucks, I expect something good and I have no shame in being a critic – fan or no fan.

Talking about the movie, the first thing that truly mesmerized and still does, while I write this is the soundtrack – a job well done Gustavo Santaolalla, hats off to you! The movie is about 4 lives and how they share a common thing – Dhobi Ghat. That’s the place, which links their lives or rather changes it radically.

Meet Arun, a successful painter, lonely and icy cold (Heartless, maybe). Throughout the movie, you can literally count the dialogues of Aamir – so fans that’s a big disappointment. However, if you look at the overall concept, you will know why he spoke less! I’ll come to that later. Enters Shai – who isn’t shy! A US based investment banker, who has a passion of photography, who is on a sabbatical. Capturing movie in her lens is what she wishes to do; an outgoing girl who finds her love interest in Arun.

Munna, who is a nocturnal Dhobi and a diurnal rat killer, a wannabe hero, a Salman fan; Munna connects all the characters in the movie. He has a crush on Shai and apparently, is a “tour guide” for her. Yasmin, a cute and bubbly girl, who narrates her experiences in a video and who is not happy with her married life. I wouldn’t reveal too much here but she sparks the lost love interest of Arun, making him more lively.

Frankly, I have not lived in Mumbai. I had a lot of negative buzz about the movie. However, I kept my mind open before watching it. For instance, I did get bored and the movie seemed more like a “scrambled egg”. It seemed as if these are the 4 characters, this is their life, that’s it, end of the story!

However, when you think of it, it crawls deep in your skin. It shows how unlike a movie, life isn’t about jazz! It isn’t often fair. I was searching for a lesson, a lesson that I could learn from the movie. Though I had a difficulty scrutinizing the movie for such a lesson, I found it finally – Life goes on and you move on!

Although, I wouldn’t call it “AMAZING in true sense” but Kiran has tried to experiment something new. I found this concept exciting and as I wrote earlier, the movie is for classes and not for masses. For those who would expect a cocky character like that in Dabaang, a romantic protagonist like that in Kuch Kuch hota hai, something supernatural like that in Robot, or anything of that sort, would definitely be disappointed. However, if you dive in deep, you will find how good the movie is. The problem with Bollywood per se in India is that the expectation of people is not “Classy” yet “THIS MOVIE SHOULD GIVE ME A LAUGH OF MY LIFETIME! IT SHOULD CONTAIN ROMANCE, A BIT OF ENVY, A FEW MORSELS OF STEAMY MOMENTS, TOPPED WITH SOME ITEM SONGS. However, that’s not where you’ll find class. Aamir made it clear that this movie is different! Even the trailers shouted the same.

Movies in France have been long known for art films, a true class, and that’s what Kiran has brought in India. Coming to my previous statement where I said how the dialogues of Aamir in the movie can literally be counted. That has been done to portray his silent, cold hearted character. However, I honestly think, it was done so that the focus of the movie should not focus on merely Aamir. And that’s what happened. Kiran used a balanced approach in building a story around all the characters. But yes, the newcomers have truly done a great job!!

This movie is not perfect in any sense. It has it flaws. The ending was my major source of complain as it was really abrupt. Also, the movie could be a bit longer to build on the characters. Overall, I liked the concept. When I came to the exit of the theater, I heard mixed reactions, “Awesome”, “Damn, Aamir is thinking of another Oscar nomination yet this doesn’t even deserve to be nominated.”

I would not comment on the reactions but before watching this movie it is recommended to clear your mind. If you are looking for pure entertainment, Dhobi Ghat would disappoint you. I like how Aamir has the guts to experiment things, unlike some actors (Akshay Kumar to be more precise) who can do any/every movie just for the hell of it! Hell, one unique movie is better than 10 in a year, which makes no sense.

Kiran has certainly brought a true class in India and I hope our film industry finds some motivation from this and use the concept to their disposal.

PS – Aamir, please release the soundtrack…I badly want it 😦

Advertisements

Dastan, Prince of PersiaAfter reading the reviews of Prince (desi) followed by watching some great flicks such as Housefull I noticed a drastic change in my sanity. For once, I was in a dire need of watching something that will bring me back from the state of intelligence to sanity.

I have had bad experiences watching 3d movies with the last one being Clash of the titans. No, I didn’t watch Avatar in 3d!! Clash of Titans was more like a struggle to wake up. Well, the director really released the Crapen in the movie!! Anyway, my hunt for a good movie ended with Prince of persia – sands of time. There were two reasons why I went to watch it. 1. I was waiting for this baby, as I am a big fan of the game series. 2. I wanted to see how much is this movie screwed for yet another 3d movie. You will have to agree that game based movie scripts are disappointing. That is not a stereotype but my experience.

Prince of Persia

Contrary to my expectations, the movie did not disappoint me at all. Having finally seen this movie, I felt as if there is the “hope” for good fun and entertainment has not died. Well, I can say this if I go by the standards of Hollywood movies. I do not want to comment about senseless Bollywood flicks.

There are many reasons to why this movie works. One of the major reasons is the involvement of Jordan Mechner, the legendary creator of the Prince of Persia game series.  He pushed the movie to a new level! It was truly visible how Mechner instilled his passion for the series into bringing it live on the big screen. Most of the times, the adoption of game based cinema is all about actions and the story takes the back seat. That is not the case with Prince of Persia, period. Let’s face it. How many “EPIC” movies have evolved from a game? Street Fighter, Mario, Dead or Alive, etc. were nothing but a big disappointment. Tomb Raider was a good eye-candy with nice action but parched the audience for a great story. Most of these were mediocre to downright abysmal. Most of these used “Profanity” as a source of entertainment but failed miserably. The reason is obvious; people do not pay bucks to watch a porno in a theatre. They expect a good story!

Prince of Persia flawlessly jumped from the big hurdle of disappointment. The involvement of Disney has worked in the past with such great flicks. Remember Pirates of the Caribbean? Most of the things that Disney touches turn to gold. Prince of Persia is one of their alchemical experiments. The movie borrowed major elements from the game but did not adhere to the exact storyline. The way it was directed does not require any support from a game. Really, you do not have to play the game in order to relate with the story. It has a story, a charm, a charisma, and an uncanny magnetism of its own.

Ben Kingsley as Nizam

Throughout the movie, I was not relating anything with the game. Moreover, you will get hooked with every scene from the movie until the end. Jake Gyllenhall did justice with the character of “Dastan”, the protagonist. He was cocky yet impressive. Gemma Arterton as “Tamina” was frivolous in the beginning. Ah, and Ben Kingsley was a real treat with his character of “Nizam”. He did justice as an antagonist with a shady, suspicious, and a powerful character. Well, he surely was a treat after his disappointing work in “Teen Patti” (ya right!)

Great concept, great movie, and a must watch for action and series lovers. If you are in for a change and want to watch a flick that is great with the action, cinema, and the story, Prince of Persia will be the real treat for you! However, it can be a disappointment for 3D lovers who want to experience breathtaking scenes. Yes, it was a bit expected but there were other aspects that diverted my mind away from thinking about criticism.

Now that I think about it, why is it that Bollywood moviemakers never adopt something on a similar note that works? When will they come out of the trance of copying, stealing, and sucking at movie making? You can make Prince but you cannot add Persia to it, because you have replaced your creativity with bikinis, smooches, insane action, no storyline, po-faced, semi-nude item songs, and what not. Get some lessons please. It’s high time when you make some sensible movies instead of a girl and a guy running on the field in slow motion, with the girl’s boobs bouncing in slow motion, them playing hide and seek behind a tree, dancing in the rain with no clouds in the sky, and later the guy getting shot while still having the guts to squeeze in a song and sing through the 3 hour movie. (Ya, that’s not me. It’s just Russell peters) Get some lessons on movie making and go to a “Paathshala” .

At times, I think what this world has come to. It does not require rocket science to answer how evolution took place. Are we in the phase of reverse-evolution? Is our intelligence going from human to monkey? Well, it reminds me of Monkey business here.  I happened to watch Love, Sex aur Dhoka recently. Believe me, I am in shock. How can someone make a movie with anything in it? By anything, I mean a story line that is senseless, full of vulgarity and voyeurism. I agree it was different than most of the concepts. However, looking at the scenario, even I can make a movie with a video camera.

I know it has been a long time, since I wrote anything. Therefore, I am writing some of my funny ideas.

Some funny Hollywood+Bollywood titles can be –

1. Bridget Jones’s Diarrhea – Hajmola khao

2. Fart Wars – Andhkar aur Ujale ke beech yudh

3. Oh Brothel, Where Art Thou? (no comments)

4. The God Farter – Sarkar ne mara paad

5. The Hangover part 2 – The hangover is still not over – Sanam bewada

6. The mummy returns to kiss the papa

7. Scarfart – Pichwade pe daag

8. All Lice in Wonderland

9. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Disgusting

10. The catrunner

11. Indiana Jones – no country for old men

12. Bravefart

13. I still know what you did last summer, I was pregnant, will have kids the next summer

14. Turbanator – return of the governor

15. Shaving Ryans Privates

I know it isn’t funny…It is difficult to find a pun in Hollywood let alone copying the script.

*Parental Guidance required for this part of post.*

I am not sure if you are aware of the C-grade movies in India. To elaborate, it is like “Porn but on a lighter note”. Frankly speaking, I am not into these (aye, it has no standards) and hats off to those who dare to watch these in theaters. Even the developed countries do not have the guts to display Porn movies in Theaters! Here are some funny names that I found –

1. Khooni Raat

2. Naagin Ka badla

3. Saajan ki baahon mei

4. Kacchi Jawani

5. Hawas ka Pujari

6. Ek haseen korean aatma

7. bhoot ke piche bhoot (Even ghosts can’t rest in peace)

8. kaatil chuha

9. Ek choti si horror story

10. kabristaan ki love story

B/w how can we forget the hindi dub of Hollywood movies?

1. Aasman fatt gaya, bhagwan latak gaya

2. Makkad Manav (Spiderman) <bhojpuri>

3. Doobi Kashti (Titanic)

4. Ganji Chudail Ke Lambe Lambe Baal

5. Bhootni Ke (Ghost)

6. Hari da puttar (harry potter)

7. Alisha gayi mayanagri (Alice in Wonderland)

8. Caribbean ke gunhegaar (Pirates of the Caribbean)

9. Bichu ka badshah (Scorpion King)

10. Ghar akela

11. Geedar

12. Makkhi Film (Bee movie)

13. Garam Kukkar (hot chick)

14. Pehle kabhi aadmi hua karta tha (She’s the man)

15. zinda hoon main (I am legend)

Here are a few more sequels to Bollywood movies (courtesy – Internet)

1) Paagal banaya aapne
2) Kuch nahi hota hai
3) Hum aapke jhopde mein rehte hain
4) Hum Kidney de chuke sanam
5) Jab hum bichhde
6) Ram Gopal Varma ki Bhaag
7) Hum aapke hain dhobi
8) Cholay
9) Heyy Budhaa
10) Kabhi Tata salt mat khaana
11) Kabhie wife kabhie girlfriend.
12) Bandwale band baja jayenge.

Jokes apart (really?), what is Bollywood coming to? Is it the end of the world for Indian cinema? Can it survive? To know more log-on to http://www.bollywoodkakuchnahihosakta.com

ps – No offense to anyone whose favorite movie is listed above.

From the time i opened my eyes on the face of this planet, I expected (maybe too far-fetched) to smell the fresh air, birds chirping, greenery and fun! Anyway, that’s not the point. I have been wondering hard about the logic behind bollywood movies since 22 years. Till date, I must say it remains a mystery. If Sherlock Holmes would’ve been alive, solving this mystery would be his toughest case to crack.

I don’t understand why in the blue hell do they make bollywood movies!! I can very well relate our movies to Russell Peters stand-up joke where he mentioned how, Indian movies are Awfully Long. It’s based on a Protagonist and his beloved who run in a farm, singing songs, playing hide and seek around trees and in the end the protagonist dies! Before he is dead though (takes about 2 hrs), he will squeeze in a song or two, travel around the globe and finally choke to death (Damn it! I could’ve had killed him in mere seconds)!

To talk about VEER, it is certainly something QUEER! Why do filmmakers in India make terrible rip-offs of hollywood movies? How in the blue hell can you compare TROY with Veer?? Mr Nude (Salman Khan) has made the script and I can very well relate how AWESOME it is going to be! I mean, I will be in Awe (if i watch it that is) literally!

Mr Nude here thinks that by showing his 6 packs and fluffy muscles, he can match Brad Pitt!! Gimme a break! You can be the next Brad Shit but not Brad Pitt dude!

To add to the fun, he wrote this script 20 years ago! Dude 20 years back, you were a cry baby, crying for Ash, gals and what not!! How did you get time to write a script?? And come on, Ladies and Gentleman it’s Mr Nude, our famous over actor! I am certain that he was born in Africa? Gobi Desert?, finding it difficult to get accustomed to the weather here! That’s why he has to take off his clothes every now and then!

Veer will be a disaster, its fate, it’s Maktub (You would know that word if you have read “The Alchemist”)..

Only 2% of Indian movies are worth watching! Rest are stupidity merged with stupid songs!!

Please for hell’s sake, if you want to even compare to Hollywood, give us all a break and make some good movies! Atleast, learn how to act for starters!