Even in the deepest slumber, I used to wake up with a mere scent of wet mud. Whenever that nostalgic scent entered my nostrils, adrenaline rushed through my body and sleep played a secondary role. That first trickle rolling down my cheek was always mesmerizing. So was going out and getting drenched in the beautiful rain not because, “I love rains because no one can see my crying (That’s lame!!!) but I love loved it unconditionally.”
However, it I do not regret when I say that my 23-years of relationship with Rains has come to a conclusion now. I finally broke up!! This year, the same nostalgic feeling rushed in early; however, it died as soon as I realized it existed…Did it rain acid or frogs? What was the reason? Why did this happen? I would strangle anyone who would ask such nonsensical questions.
Today, two things are totally unexpected. No, I am not talking about “Nature’s call.” The unexpected nature lies in the felony of god pissing from the sky and news reports pissing on us with news on CWG. It is so unexpected that both of these can catch irrespective of the fact that you’ll never let your guard down.
India will have to name new rivers now as the deepest yet the longest river is not Brahmaputra. For everyone else, the longest isn’t the Nile. Correct me if i am wrong, the longest and the deepest river is known as “FFNDSD” or Floods from North Delhi to South Delhi. If I (unknowingly) switch to IBN, they have nothing better than talk about the danger level of Yamuna. If it reaches blah cms, this area would be submerged; if it increases by 1 cm more, it will submerge another; if it increases by another cm, it will submerge you with water rising up your asses and reaching your throat until you choke and die!! Ah…this so defies the law of gravity.
I am certain that the condition of the Tsunami affected areas are much better than what is happening here. The funny part is that soon athletes and people from abroad would be welcomed by swarm of mosquitoes biting them until their very genes degenerate and carry the DENGUE gene, which will pass on for generations!! If Hiroshima and Nagasaki was horrendous, you haven’t seen the real horror until you land up in Delhi!
Now for the worst part…what was expected to be a final goodbye to rain-sweet-rain by the end of August doesn’t seem to hold true. The stubborn clouds are so adamant that they will not leave your head and continue to harass you by increasing the intensity of piss with every passing second. This is garnished by the beautiful roads filled with welcoming potholes…Some of these have increased to an extent where you’ll disappear in one and reappear from another (Most probably, if you disappear in a pothole located in South Delhi, you are likely to appear in the North!! There is absolutely no need for metro’s, buses, or any transit system)
I think I will be doing justice by ending my relationship with the Rains. No, its not a divorce because we are not married! I never intended to marry them primarily because the situation would be really unbearable. In the context of a marriage, think about having an year without sex (no rains) and another year with sex 24×7 (Heavy rains…Mesmerizing in the beginning but tiring as the time passes)
With that said, RAINS here is my verdict to you…I still have a soft corner for you considering the fact that I never get a nice 7 hours sleep during the weekdays. Thanks to you, I can sleep for 2 hours minimum while I am stuck in traffic. That’s the only thing that I am thankful about yet I might throw up if I have to say “Thank You” for that!! You might still have a chance to make it up to me if you stop excessive pissing and resort to a natural human cycle!!