Posts Tagged ‘delhi’

Even in the deepest slumber, I used to wake up with a mere scent of wet mud. Whenever that nostalgic scent entered my nostrils, adrenaline rushed through my body and sleep played a secondary role. That first trickle rolling down my cheek was always mesmerizing. So was going out and getting drenched in the beautiful rain not because, “I love rains because no one can see my crying (That’s lame!!!) but I love loved it unconditionally.”

However, it I do not regret when I say that my 23-years of relationship with Rains has come to a conclusion now. I finally broke up!! This year, the same nostalgic feeling rushed in early; however, it died as soon as I realized it existed…Did it rain acid or frogs? What was the reason? Why did this happen? I would strangle anyone who would ask such nonsensical questions.

Today, two things are totally unexpected. No, I am not talking about “Nature’s call.” The unexpected nature lies in the felony of god pissing from the sky and news reports pissing on us with news on CWG. It is so unexpected that both of these can catch irrespective of the fact that you’ll never let your guard down.

India will have to name new rivers now as the deepest yet the longest river is not Brahmaputra. For everyone else, the longest isn’t the Nile. Correct me if i am wrong, the longest and the deepest river is known as “FFNDSD” or Floods from North Delhi to South Delhi. If I (unknowingly) switch to IBN, they have nothing better than talk about the danger level of Yamuna. If it reaches blah cms, this area would be submerged; if it increases by 1 cm more, it will submerge another; if it increases by another cm, it will submerge you with water rising up your asses and reaching your throat until you choke and die!! Ah…this so defies the law of gravity.

I am certain that the condition of the Tsunami affected areas are much better than what is happening here. The funny part is that soon athletes and people from abroad would be welcomed by swarm of mosquitoes biting them until their very genes degenerate and carry the DENGUE gene, which will pass on for generations!! If Hiroshima and Nagasaki was horrendous, you haven’t seen the real horror until you land up in Delhi!

Now for the worst part…what was expected to be a final goodbye to rain-sweet-rain by the end of August doesn’t seem to hold true. The stubborn clouds are so adamant that they will not leave your head and continue to harass you by increasing the intensity of piss with every passing second. This is garnished by the beautiful roads filled with welcoming potholes…Some of these have increased to an extent where you’ll disappear in one and reappear from another (Most probably, if you disappear in a pothole located in South Delhi, you are likely to appear in the North!! There is absolutely no need for metro’s, buses, or any transit system)

I think I will be doing justice by ending my relationship with the Rains. No, its not a divorce because we are not married! I never intended to marry them primarily because the situation would be really unbearable. In the context of a marriage, think about having an year without sex (no rains) and another year with sex 24×7 (Heavy rains…Mesmerizing in the beginning but tiring as the time passes)

Believe me, people might choke on their own words…So here is an image representing every Delhiite’s plead to stop this insanity!!

With that said, RAINS here is my verdict to you…I still have a soft corner for you considering the fact that I never get a nice 7 hours sleep during the weekdays. Thanks to you, I can sleep for 2 hours minimum while I am stuck in traffic. That’s the only thing that I am thankful about yet I might throw up if I have to say “Thank You” for that!! You might still have a chance to make it up to me if you stop excessive pissing and resort to a natural human cycle!!


I wanted to write this since a long time and today seems to be a lucky day. Lucky, not because I am putting the pieces together and writing this; but, I am feeling good to have a view point! For me, the monocle is my “Mirror of perception”. It is my tool through which, I look at the world. I cannot write everything here because there is a lot I have seen and still a lot to be seen. However, there are a set of random things that I observe daily –

The Yawning Saga –  I wake up and find myself unable to comprehend the fact that I have to get ready for office. I take 15 minutes to think “What to think”! That is an everyday saga

Bus-Karo – I find familiar faces in the bus, mostly college goers, who have fun, laugh and remind me of my college days!

Masala News-paper – I open the newspaper and read mostly about how commonwealth is commonly screwed and there is no common solution on how to commonly make it a success! In short, the common people are always screwed by the government!

Blue – Once upon a time, this land parched for water. That was one year ago and God finally listened to the hue and cry of people. And he said, “Let there be water”. And water it was! The irony being that it is everywhere!! This reminds me of the quote, “Water water everywhere nor a drop to drink.” Stepping out from the bus reminds me of how much I’ll struggle for just moving my butt from one corner to the other. At times, I am forced to think that I should buy a boat!

Work, where art thou? – Ah! The corporate life…Well, this isn’t like what I expected it to be. I expected smart work and here it is simply smarter. I expected heaps of work but here I have to dive in the heap to find something that suits my responsibility areas. Touche’. The only good thing is that there are things you learn 😉 And I am glad!!

The horse of steel – Yeah, enough about the bird of steel (Superman!!) Let’s throw some steel on the horse of steel – our dearest Metro!! It’s the only place that is yet to be blessed with  spit-stains! Yes, there is security. But really, who are they checking?? The guards are always on a prowl to watch their watches for the needle to strike 11 pm! And woosh, they are gone!! Metro stations, especially Rajiv Chowk looks more like the only flower left on this planet to suck on for a swarm of bees! People are so patient that they’ll push you around, grab you by collars, push you behind, kick you (Ok, this is exaggerated). But if you are looking for fun, Rajiv Chowk is not the place to be! Whenever the station is blessed cursed with less people, it seems as if  there is a bomb scare! The metro frequency is at a gap of every 2-5 minutes! Still, people are in such a mad rush to catch & ride the train as if they have no one to ride (married guys!!) at home! For some, it’s a do or die situation! They feel as if it’s an achievement to catch a train and they are glad they did it after a huge struggle! These are the people you can see clearly with their nose squeezed against the train’s tinted window glasses! It’s imperative that they struggled a lot just to squeeze in!! These are the morons who have threesome on a single bed and are used to squeeze in small spaces!

People’s Favorite – In a democratic country, you have the freedom of speech. Indeed, it is true. That is what blogs are made for. But, when it comes to literally speak your heart in front of people, you have to think twice. Not because, you may say something silly. But, people often criticize your  habit of keeping your heart clear and speaking what you think. Maybe they think as I do, maybe they don’t. But they are so diplomatic that they’ll say “That’s right” in front and bitch behind your back! Ah well, at times i do think, “Maybe, it’s something that is wrong from my end.” But then I am given sufficient reasons to agree that people just bitch because they have to! There is absolutely no correlation between sensible thinking and bitching. And there are some nice one too…Yes, I said “SOME“. Ah, save me from the cesspool!

The Television – The idiot box is getting irritating day by day! If a single Ekta Kapoor’s serial was irritating for you, we have a whole channel dedicated to her! Yes, talk about Star Plus! The reality shows “timber me shivers“. From FTV MTV to ZeeTV, it’s nothing but dry humor and stupid entertainment. If Pratigya dies, her husband is resurrected, and if Nakusha uses fair and lovely to maintain her glow, why the hell are you concerned? It’s not real…You can’t even relate to it.

All said and then, it is nice to have my personal monocle to observe things! Right or Wrong, I don’t know. I am just glad I have my views! Do you have your monocle?

India will become a developed nation by 2025. Sure it will be developed but after 2025 more years. Change forces a nation and its people to change. Maybe its true for every country in the world, be it Afghanistan, Iraq, or North Korea. But India is something different. Whenever I try to find a reason to be proud of, I get 10 more reasons to despise the system even more.

Commonwealth games are to be hosted in Delhi in October, 2010. How? That is another story. Any chance that India pegs in is taken as an opportunity by our “Politicians” to fill their pockets. What I read in the newspapers is the daily fluctuations in the dollar rate, the petrol price, and the taxes. The government changes the tax structure and is being more stringent with it so that they are able to monitor every individual. What about the individuals who sleep in cash heaps? Yes, the Politicians of our nation.

Months ago, I read how a section of the false ceiling at the Yamuna Sports Complex, scheduled to hold the table-tennis event, collapsed after heavy rains.. Well, it isn’t something new is it? There were also problems at the S P Mukherjee Swimming Complex, which hosted a test event last week, as a part of the false ceiling was broken and a swimmer was hurt after a cover on the water drainage system around the swimming pool came off. Again nothing new!!

The Central vigilance committee (CVC) found that majority of contracts for the CWG were illegal. Again, it isn’t something new. What’s new for me is Sheila  Dixit’s statement that the Central Vigilance Commission’s (CVC) allegations of corruption in the organization of Commonwealth Games are “remarks” and not an “indictment”. The CWG money is eaten by Congress leaders who are looting our country since very long even before independence.

I have no idea how these shameful morons have the guts to stand up in front of people and ask for votes. What did they do or will do to ever deserve the leadership of a nation? They cannot stop terrorist attacks and the irony is that most of them are involved in these are from India.

I know, I will be asked this question, “If you have so much to crib about, why don’t you change the nation? Join politics!”. Is that a lame excuse to show your ignorance? Or is it a statement that depicts your satisfaction with the progression of our country or the “GOOD” work done by our politicians?

Everyone should boycott elections! How does it matter if we vote for BJP or Congress? They all are leeches feeding on our nation. How does it matter if Shiv Sena is responsible for chaos in Maharashtra when many of our politicians are aware and even give leverage to the terrorists of our nation. An attack on India is equivalent to the salary increment of the defense and home ministers. It’s like their ‘Key responsibility areas’.

I am confident that CWG will be a huge disappointment. Maybe, the participants and the spectators coming from other nations would not know. But we know it! Crookedness, Falsification, corruption, and chauvinist people is the key to our nation’s decline!

The statistics we get every year on how India is progressing is a mere sham! We are losing more than gaining. The speed with which progress might never increase when compared to the superpowers. Of course, we have the potential. But, as long as we have such great people in India, we will be continuously blindfolded with false statistics and promises.

So what can we do? I don’t know! Maybe everything or maybe nothing. But I’ll do my part by not voting for anyone, ever. I am not shirking away from my responsibility. How many responsible citizens who vote have ever got anything good out of their votes? Responsibility is a mere disguise to help the politicians grab the leadership of our country!

If we were so responsible, we would force the nation to change. Not the politicians forcing us to change.

Are we ready????? NO!


ps – I have so many friends in the CWG planning committee. I am aware of what they do! “NOTHING” is the word!!