Posts Tagged ‘Television’

I wanted to write this since a long time and today seems to be a lucky day. Lucky, not because I am putting the pieces together and writing this; but, I am feeling good to have a view point! For me, the monocle is my “Mirror of perception”. It is my tool through which, I look at the world. I cannot write everything here because there is a lot I have seen and still a lot to be seen. However, there are a set of random things that I observe daily –

The Yawning Saga –  I wake up and find myself unable to comprehend the fact that I have to get ready for office. I take 15 minutes to think “What to think”! That is an everyday saga

Bus-Karo – I find familiar faces in the bus, mostly college goers, who have fun, laugh and remind me of my college days!

Masala News-paper – I open the newspaper and read mostly about how commonwealth is commonly screwed and there is no common solution on how to commonly make it a success! In short, the common people are always screwed by the government!

Blue – Once upon a time, this land parched for water. That was one year ago and God finally listened to the hue and cry of people. And he said, “Let there be water”. And water it was! The irony being that it is everywhere!! This reminds me of the quote, “Water water everywhere nor a drop to drink.” Stepping out from the bus reminds me of how much I’ll struggle for just moving my butt from one corner to the other. At times, I am forced to think that I should buy a boat!

Work, where art thou? – Ah! The corporate life…Well, this isn’t like what I expected it to be. I expected smart work and here it is simply smarter. I expected heaps of work but here I have to dive in the heap to find something that suits my responsibility areas. Touche’. The only good thing is that there are things you learn 😉 And I am glad!!

The horse of steel – Yeah, enough about the bird of steel (Superman!!) Let’s throw some steel on the horse of steel – our dearest Metro!! It’s the only place that is yet to be blessed with  spit-stains! Yes, there is security. But really, who are they checking?? The guards are always on a prowl to watch their watches for the needle to strike 11 pm! And woosh, they are gone!! Metro stations, especially Rajiv Chowk looks more like the only flower left on this planet to suck on for a swarm of bees! People are so patient that they’ll push you around, grab you by collars, push you behind, kick you (Ok, this is exaggerated). But if you are looking for fun, Rajiv Chowk is not the place to be! Whenever the station is blessed cursed with less people, it seems as if  there is a bomb scare! The metro frequency is at a gap of every 2-5 minutes! Still, people are in such a mad rush to catch & ride the train as if they have no one to ride (married guys!!) at home! For some, it’s a do or die situation! They feel as if it’s an achievement to catch a train and they are glad they did it after a huge struggle! These are the people you can see clearly with their nose squeezed against the train’s tinted window glasses! It’s imperative that they struggled a lot just to squeeze in!! These are the morons who have threesome on a single bed and are used to squeeze in small spaces!

People’s Favorite – In a democratic country, you have the freedom of speech. Indeed, it is true. That is what blogs are made for. But, when it comes to literally speak your heart in front of people, you have to think twice. Not because, you may say something silly. But, people often criticize your  habit of keeping your heart clear and speaking what you think. Maybe they think as I do, maybe they don’t. But they are so diplomatic that they’ll say “That’s right” in front and bitch behind your back! Ah well, at times i do think, “Maybe, it’s something that is wrong from my end.” But then I am given sufficient reasons to agree that people just bitch because they have to! There is absolutely no correlation between sensible thinking and bitching. And there are some nice one too…Yes, I said “SOME“. Ah, save me from the cesspool!

The Television – The idiot box is getting irritating day by day! If a single Ekta Kapoor’s serial was irritating for you, we have a whole channel dedicated to her! Yes, talk about Star Plus! The reality shows “timber me shivers“. From FTV MTV to ZeeTV, it’s nothing but dry humor and stupid entertainment. If Pratigya dies, her husband is resurrected, and if Nakusha uses fair and lovely to maintain her glow, why the hell are you concerned? It’s not real…You can’t even relate to it.

All said and then, it is nice to have my personal monocle to observe things! Right or Wrong, I don’t know. I am just glad I have my views! Do you have your monocle?

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Dearest India TV,

There was a time when news channels told us what was happening around. Note that I said there was a time.

I hope this note finds you in the worst of health and spirits! As usual, your crew would be high on alcoholic spirits while broadcasting the news. Ah, actions speak louder than work! But your news speaks without action.

Since the Inception of India TV on May 20, 2004, I have been under tremendous torture with your moronic, boneheaded, and duncical news. Words fail me when I have to describe whatever shit you show on Television. And to you, Mr. Rajat Sharma you should go ahead and drown yourself in Arabian sea. No, you are not worthy of Indian ocean.

What inspired you Mr. Sharma to air such an insanity? It isn’t even insanity but heights of lunacy.

What the fuck do you want to convey with the above news? What human bomb are you talking about when there is a bomb ticking in your asses that provokes you imbeciles to air such bullshit news.

Duh! Someone should surely tie a real bomb across your chest. There should be another in your office! Let the bomb do the talking. I would personally like someone to fit a bomb in the mouths of the reporters on India TV!


Don’t know about the Indian cricket team but at least India TV would never let the people sleep with their baseless, stupid news.

Wow…When you should be covering recession, economic crisis all you do is air fuckall news of a brawl b/w cat and dog! Why do you care if she cannot speak hindi? Who at India TV can speak “Pure” hindi…Bloody, I cannot. Seriously, these reporters are bunch of retards who ran from an asylum and started their own news channel.

Who in the blue hell would watch television after watching the above image? Are you trying to promote some sort of voodoo stuff now? Or are you trying to practice black magic so you can get a better TRP for fuck sake! I mean you guys suck, literally.

How can you do black magic on a camera? I am confident that someone did black magic to your channel. Is that why you show news not even worth crow’s shit? You deserve a real pat on your back. Mother nature will gift you for your contribution if you open your mouth and let the birds shit in your mouth for brainwashing people.

Now India TV really went gay with the above news. First off, you are showing a man naked! The only thing he is covered with are draperies, which I am sure you took off to make another news out of his ass or wiener. Why do you care if a person weights fucking 350 kgs or 50 kgs? Are you jealous of his health? Maybe you should make news out of his weight – “The reason for earth’s mass” or probably “Look at the biggest ass in the world”…You call that news? I call it crap.

Has India TV started a matrimony service? A bride for you eh? Pity the people, as they would have died as bachelors if you‘d not have enlightened them with this news.

Would you condemn those who are not living on rent? Will their eyes pop out of their eye-socket? Will their brain melt? Will you set their ass on fire? Everyone else please close your eyes!

The worse part is that this isn’t you who is broadcasting such news. Your felony has inspired other channels to such a huge extent that they are following you in the league of Fucktardness.


Damn it! It’s just common cold. Amitabh has not been hospitalized…If you have the audacity to air such news, then you can even talk about amitabh’s dog catching cold or maybe Amitabh having constipation, his potty color etc etc.


He ate vegetable! Thank goodness, he is not a cannibal. Why do you care?

What next? Commissioner’s  dog bit him and the commissioner died?

Sharam kar Sharma…Do you know that a majority cases of Migrane, Heart attack, and paralysis is caused after watching India TV? Do you know that 60% of your audience commit suicide? Do you know that you are a gay?? Don’t ask me for the source of these statements. It’s as baseless as your news, there is no proof, and it is not true (Maybe)!

I find it really amusing that people actually watch the channel. They still have this “HOPE” that whatever shown in India TV is right. Please don’t kill this hope. Shut down the channel if you have any humanity left!

And here is my breaking news for you –

ps – A lot of images courtesy stupidindiatv.blogspot.com